LIFE

"LIFE" looks tired and exhausted. The charm, the smile, the promise of the happiness looks superficial to the stare which tells the emptiness, the exhaustion. Too much might have happened or waiting to happen to celebrate life in the spirit it used to be. The uncharacteristic calmness, the unpredictability, the unspoken words speaks of the battered soul. The price paid to live has taken its toll. The fear of losing the true spirit, the essence of being the individual, lurks around.

            

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"LIFE" is not a poetry. It is an essay still waiting for the fulfillment. In this global stage the act to remain oneself gets increasingly difficult and at times intolerable amidst the glitters (and also lack of it) around. The inquisitiveness of the insensitive world irritates and hurts. Being nice to world does not help but neither does arrogance. The political correctness, the patience is time and again tested by the profit merchants. In a situation where the results are more likely to be damaging how does "LIFE" go on, how will "LIFE be LIFE", perhaps time will tell.

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The inspiration threatens to die down, but the fight to go on has to be there. Tormented "LIFE" and wounded soul will not be healed by the ruthless society. The world will not be a better place to live, the tears must dry down as the promise to move forward must survive. The feeling to break free might not materialize but it will steer the ship forward in search of the eternal bliss.

                                                                                         

Golden Times & Parallel Lines

A Gujrati shop has opened up in the locality of my residence in Sharjah last year. Samosas are available but only recently (last week only) I have started enjoying my weekend evening tea (home made sweet milk tea) with samosa. Today as I was enjoying the same, a picture from the past came to my mind. During my childhood days on Sunday evening very often I used to enjoy samosas---so good were those days!!!

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Why is it that we keep referring to our "golden old days" ? Perhaps its human nature, we enjoy to get nostalgic with good memories. But when we were in our school/college days we always wanted to get over those days of studies sooner than later and get into a job. When we enter a job very few people get over the college nostalgia quickly. Its easy to identify a fresher or a 2-3 years experienced professional from the body language, the way he or she talks. Coming to the point when we think/speak of the 'golden times' its always of the good things and great times, as if there was nothing bad in the past. A logical reason may be its always hard to deal with the present and the future is uncertain. The unpredictability of the present & uncertainty of the future makes us wonder for the golden past. Its easy to call the past 'golden' as the results, the effects are all known to us, there is no uncertainty. Its not that we always learn from the mistakes of the past, but past always have a positive frame in our mind. Its human psychology that the uneasiness of the ever changing dynamic nature of life and our unwillingness to accept it makes us think of the past as always 'golden' in most cases. Its easier to analyse any event from a known result, but its impossible for normal beings to identify the moment of the present that will make the present a golden one specially when it comes to taking decision.

Time for something from school geometry - difference between parallel and intersecting line. Parallel lines are 2 lines which run side by side maintaining constant distances, and they never meet. Intersecting lines  will meet at a point, as the distance between the two decreases. What remains unsaid  is that after the lines have met once they can never meet each other again unless they change direction. Intersecting lines are also diverging lines, the distance between them keeps on increasing. They can only meet when you change the direction or you trace back. Intersection seems to be more realistic situation than the optimistic parallel line theory. Life is a place where the intersections/cross-overs are predominant. Some of them are desirable some are not. We feel happy for some crossovers and bad for some--we feel like changing them, but we cannot go back and change that intersection as intersection always symbolises  divergence for the way ahead. Perhaps this is spirit of life, we cannot go back or trace back. Life is more like a vector, it has a specific direction, every intersection promises (or hopes) to bring a new intersection ahead. Trying to create parallel lines in life work only in school book geometry, not in life. Intersection is the order of life and the truth behind survival.

Socccer : Life or A way of Life

“Some say football is a matter of life and death. I am really disappointed by this attitude; it is something much more than that!!” – Bill Shanky, legendary Liverpool football manager.

From the above quote it is simple what football can mean to any soccer lover, to what extent his association can go. 

My 1st exposure to the game as a kid goes back to 1980s somewhere around 1985-86. One Saturday afternoon my grandfather switched on the television set (we used to have the old B&W Webel television). Those days there was only one channel. I thought maybe it was the usual weekend movie time. I sat by his side. But to my surprise I found some men kicking about a ball---I never understood what was it---on enquiry I came to know it was football being played in Kolkata. During the match more than the TV set I watched my grandfather’s reactions. I asked him what was going on and what were these clubs. He told me one was East Bengal  (who dawned red & yellow colour), the other Mohan Bagan (green and maroon brigade)—needless to mention colours were not on the screen you had to keep it in mind. The East Bengal jersey looked grey while the Mohan Bagan jersey black. Grandfather told me East Bengal was representing the “Bangals” & Mohan Bagan the “Ghotis”. At that time I never knew of this “Ghoti-Bangal” issue. I asked my grandfather which category we belonged. The following conversation was short but sharp.

Me : Amra Ki ? (who are we?)
Grand Father : Bangal
Me : Tumi kake support korchho ? (who are you supporting?)
Grand Father : East Bengal, "Bangal" mane East Bengal supporter. (Bangal imples East Bengal)

Needless to explain from that moment I knew I was East Bengal supporter. Thus association with my club started and still it stands above any other team. One thing was clear if you were a Bengali with Hindu origin you were by default an East Bengal or a Mohan Bagan supporter, you cannot escape the truth. It is a great feeling when you are there at the Salt Lake Stadium for a derby match. It’s a special feeling; you can feel it only when you are there. The ecstasy, the silence all define the moments perfectly. It is not just another match, for some it is bigger than life. It is just there you cannot replace it, the involvement is of the highest order, something beyond the feel materialistic world. Kolkata Derby is one the oldest & famous derbies of the world witnessing crowds of over 120-thousands at times.

But it was around the 1994 when I really became soccer lover. Exposure to international football became easier & inevitable. The World Cup turned me soccer lover. Before that to me Maradona was the only star I had seen and like others sort of worshipped him without understanding anything. 

In 1994 World Cup I saw the Italians, their resilience in Baresi-Maldini and the flair of Baggio. Romerio-Bebeto were doing great job but to me the resilience appeared more attractive than the flair of the game. So, I became an Italian supporter. 

For the next 4-5 years Juventus, AC Milan matches often appeared on Doordarshan during the weekends. Following Italian soccer was now easy. Zidane in Juventus was a treat to watch, hence 1998 World Cup was not a surprise. As a kid or youth looking at the Maldinis and Baggios to me it seemed the Greek Gods have descended to the football field. 

Post 1997 satellite television (cable tv) was in our house, so weekends were special. I enjoyed watching Figo, Rivaldo, Beckham, Nedved besides the Maldinis, Ambrosinis, Cannavaros, Tottis. But I enjoyed watching Rivaldo, mostly because much like a Gladiator, he carried a defence & spirit less Barcelona on his shoulders. Speed was not Rivaldo's key to success, nor eye catching dribbling but a lazy elegance which is rare in soccer, where a thousand things might be going on between the years but not reflecting on the face.

The single most influential player post Maradona era was Zinedine Zidane, but for me it was Steven Gerrard. The man single handedly gave Liverpool the 2005 Champions League trophy from an impossible situation. I was stunned to see AC Milan having taken a 3-0 lead in 1^st half faltered to Steve Gerrard. A typical one man show & this became Gerrard’s trade mark for the next 4-5 years and he continued enjoying the status and pulling out Liverpool from tough situations like 2006 FA Cup final. It was a tragedy the world could not see some one like Steve G not lifting an EPL in his prime or a World Cup or Euro, much like a George Best not playing a World Cup. 

Off late the commercial aspects have killed a lot of the skills of the game. Tackling from behind was an important aspect of the game & post 1990 World Cup it came under huge scanner & this has resulted too much of false dive & easy fouls. Video analysis & Strategies have made the Managers bigger than the Players. This has resulted more trophies/results for the clubs but killed the basic flair of the game.

Note : Picture Courtesy Google

Mohd. Rafi : God’s own voice

Reading the above title one can call me anything, I don’t mind. The truth is at one point of my life I was obsessed with the voice. The way I searched his songs, every time trying to find a new one which I had previously not heard was not less than passion. Once one of my friends asked me what is so special about the voice, I remember telling him give me a voice like that I quit everything. Such was the effect.

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It was January 1991 when I first heard Rafi on our 2-in-1 stereo system. At that time I was more interested in the songs of QSQT, Maine Pyar Kiya, Tridev, Dil, Aashiqui, etc. My mother used to buy the cassettes. She bought all sorts of cassettes from the above mentioned films to Rabindra Sangeet, Lata Mangeshkar, etc. When she used to play the “cultural ones” I felt like running away from home. One day she brought the cassette “The Best Of Mohd. Rafi” (a green cover with a smiling Rafi picture on top, an HMV cassette)-seeing it itself I felt it was over for me, I have landed in the age of K. L. Saigal. My mother told me “Sune dekh, tarpor bolis”. She was right and I thank her for that. The cassette started playing, the first song was “Baharon Phool Barsao..”, I felt like sleeping for the next hour. Then after 2 or 3 songs or may be the next song came “Phirkiwali”. Suddenly I was stunned, I heard the song 3 times, my sister went wild, mother did not say anything (perhaps only smiling inside for the victory). For the first time I felt what correct pronunciation of words could do to a song. I had missed the same expressions & effect (till now) with any of his contemporaries or thereafter. Thus began the Rafi Era in 1990s with me.

Time and again I used to visit the roadside cassette shops of me neighbourhood for new new casettes of Rafi’s songs. Or I would make a list of rare songs from those heard over Vivid Bharati and give it to one of my selected shops to make a recorded cassette. Once the shopkeeper took a month to gather all the collections. Thanks to their co-operation, I still have those songs converted into CD. Once I sat at a friend’s house all night transferring all the Rafi Songs from cassette to CD. He had the gadgets by which quality conversion could be made. In the morning he found me still doing the recordings. The situation was urgent as my friend was leaving for Canada the next week. He thought I had gone crazy, may be but the objective was achieved. Later he listened to some of those and found them very special. Once he told me that one day in a very vibrant mood he decided to listen to the song “Lagta nahi dil kahin ..”, his mood changed 180 degrees. He cursed me and thanked me at the same time over the mail. Thanks to him he helped with all those conversions specially the non-film ghazal collection “Kitni rahat hai..”.

At times I used to fight (only verbal) with one my cousins over superiority of Kishore-Rafi (we used to fight over such similar useless superiorities, Monica Seles-Steffi Graph; Sampras-Agassi, Juhi Chawla-Madhuri Dixit—the subjects never knew that they had such good fighters). Statistics like number of filmfare awards, national awards became significant. Later I understood in the end I was making a nuisance of what I liked, so I gave up.

Another interesting thing happened around 2005. By that time pirated mp3 audio CDs had flooded the markets. Everyone had all the collections of a particular artist one could imagine in a single CD. One evening on our casual return from our post office meetings we stopped at one of the hawkers selling the pirated CDs. Casually I picked up one Rafi CD and scrolled down the songs and left it. The man said “Dada jaben na, Rafi r natun gaan achhe anek”. By this time my Rafi collection/obsession was known to my friends. I smiled and left the shop. My friend quickly turned around and said “Rafi r natun ki gaan bolchilen, e bachhor pujote kichhu bar korlo naki, ami to jantam bhadrolok mara gechhen anekdin”—and he left quickly. The shopkeeper went wild and we could hear from the distance he was cursing us.

The most important effect of Rafi on me was it changed my way of listening to music. As the years passed, I understood the words more, their meaning, their correct pronunciation all became increasingly important. Above all poetry of the songs became significant, ghazals  (even Ghalib) were no longer strangers.  Over the years I have enjoyed hearing film music, ghazal masteros, the Indian instrumental legends, Bengal’s legend Ram Kumar Chattopadhyay but GOD will always have a special place, he made the world of music possible for me.

Euro 2012 : Spain vs Italy

Since Thursday Night after the match I was thinking of writing this one but somehow I have managed it only today late afternoon.

Its a great feeling to see Italy in the finals of Euro 2012 against their Group Toppers Spain. Two nations battered by financial crisis is waiting to gain some glory amidst such adversities. Tomorrow the world will see yet another Spanish "tic-i-tac-a" vs Italian "catanichio". However, it will only be fair to say  the latter have shown enough of the former's skill (specially against Germany) along with their traditional skills. On the eve of the match I cannot pray/hope to say "may the better team wins" and as an Italian-Catanichio supporter I wish Italy lifts the trophy (even if Spain wins hearts).

The hype about "dream football" (I don't understand what this is) displayed by Spain & Barcelona started when Spain won Euro 2008 and on their way they got the better of Italy in the quarters via tie-breakers (perhaps the only match where Spain failed to score in open play). Since then perhaps Spain has scored in all matches played in final (i.e. final tournament).

Italy have a lot at stake. Since 1968 they have not won Euro, won the World Cup in 1982 & 2006, slipped in the finals of 1994 World Cup & Euro 2000. Their rivals have one more Euro to show (1964 & 2008) but when it comes to the world stage they trail by 1: 4. So, they will be geared up to push the numbers in their favour. Of late the Spanish football (La Liga) with the like of Messi, Christiano Ronaldo, Xavi, Iniesta have gained much popularity compared to the the Italian League  (Serie A). The age old veteran defence of AC Milan have failed to stand against the Barcelonian youth. In the last season only in 4 meetings Barcelona have won twice & drawn twice (one away one home). So, some pride is at stake for Italy. The good thing about Italy  is the defence is from the ever so strong "Old Lady of Turin (Juventus)" and they have the "magic man" in the form of Andreas Pirlo.

If Euro 2012 has seen some magic revival it has been Pirlo. In 2006 Pirlo & Gattuso were the key to Italian midfield with Pirlo providing all the creativity. Since that he has been off both at club & national level. His form revived after his move to Juventus last season and he has so far raised the bar at the top level. His free-kick goal against Croatia has been this Euro's by far the best.

Spain had a tough semi-final against Portugal. They were stressed to the brink. It often happens that the team who have been stressed to limits before the finals they get used to pressure and this helps them in the big occasion.

Italy had a much easier match against one of the tournament favourites Germany. So, they need to be additionally cautious. Some are saying Italy's semi-final victory is Euro's greatest mishap. I don't understand their logic but if that is so then yet another mishap is waiting to happen on Sunday night!

While Spain will be defending their title and completing their hat-trick of championships Italy will be defending their pride and I believe as the Azzuris are always the better defending side they have a different edge. Looking back to the group encounter and Euro 2008 quarter seems there could have been no better final.

Note : Picture Courtesy Google

Circles & Zeros

Last Night I was watching "Agora", a film based on rise of Christianity or Jew-Christian clash during the Roman Egyptian day. The central character of the film is "Hypatia" (played by Rachel Weisz), Philosopher & and Mathematician, based in Alexandria. Throughout the film Hypatia is trying to find the truth regarding earth's orbit and motion amidst the political and social adversities. Hypatia was in search of the shape which exactly defines earth's path. 

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A strange thought came to my mind - it is about circles. A circle has neither beginning nor an end. You can start anywhere and tracing the geometry one will end at the same place. Lot of things crossed my mind or still crossing while I am writing - none of them have distinct relations, equations or any physical significance - they are just discrete thoughts. But it just happened that it crossed my mind and somewhere a pattern seems to be there. The great solar system is circular/elliptical or such similar pattern. Everyone is moving in some definite shape around someone else in addition to a revolution around oneself. So, in a way everything in the universe is in some sort of circular motion. And when one motion matches the other something happens-we have a solar eclipse or a lunar eclipse, full moon, new moon, etc. and we may call that timing. There is definitely something, some greater urge which is in its will or intent trying to keep things in definite shape and size, fighting against the odds to succeed in the objective.

Looking into our life, society, day to day dealings, in some way or the other we are in search of that definite shape. The different religions or philosophies have spoken of life or life cycle. We start from some point which is beyond our control (i.e. we don't know when and where we are getting fitted into the circle) and end at a point we cannot predict. The Hindu philosophy speaks of 4 stages of human life; quite similar to the 4 quadrants of a circle or the 24-hour clock time system (where we can make 4 quadrants). Aim of all is to reach the starting point. In a race the athlete in most cases has to end up from where the race began to complete. Our life runs in a circle. Looking at micro-levels right from going to school to making a family and then again to stabilizing the family, everywhere we are moving in circles perhaps without realizing this. A person at work tries to complete his circle of home-office-home day in day out. At office the same person works round the year to get his year end benefits, rewards, incentive. On achieving the same he completes his target/circle and again starts with new aspirations for the new year. Shall we say we are working for fulfillment of circle or a zero? We hate "ZERO", then how can we be working for a zero. We hate zero in a report card (read mark sheet), we hate zero in our performance ratings but we love zeroes in the salary cheques and to increase the number of zeroes in the bank account we try to motivate to make a never ending loop or a circle or a zero. Some say in our quest for zeroes we end up with lots of zeroes but become a zero.

Set theory and Venn Diagram is another example of our fondness of circles. Why did not someone think of squares to form the Venn Diagrams and their intersections? The concept of intersection of 2 sets basically points out to the area of common interests and conflicts (like the eclipses) while the concept of union of 2 sets symbolizes the fact of a greater accomplishment through the coming of 2 different identities (like the beginning of life). Mathematicians/Scientists have tried over the years to explain the laws of nature in different ways. Probability has tried to explain the chance factor of life. The motions of solar bodies, their mutual positions have been explained by Gravitational Forces. The thing which is perhaps not been analyzed is this interesting pattern of circle completions.

A common belief exists that somehow satisfying the circle is the motto of life i.e. if you can complete the circle from start to end (if necessary forcefully) by recreating and completing your social duties. The fact is that if we were able to understand this unique circle we would not have tried to complete it; it’s a definite natural process, forcing the issues make things harder.

The earth moves round the sun in an elliptical orbit, sometimes moving close sometimes far but never merges with the Sun, as then it will be all over for us - will that be the completion of some other circle unknown to us - only time will tell. Time moves forward in the form of a circle (the year phenomenon) while revolving around itself (the day phenomenon). What can be the radius of the Time Circle - perhaps beyond our wildest imaginations? Talking of earth's motion round the sun - does it mean that in search of the Ultimate Truth we might meet our end as the Earth will if it meets the Sun. As the mother planet is okay revolving about the Sun, rather than merging, does this signify that we will be fine in our limitations/failures and shall falter trying to push hard for something (may be the Truth itself), the same as what happened to Hypatia. So, I end up from where I began no solutions, no conclusions only doubts and assumptions. Time up!!!